hear me roar!

i am tired - have been working straight the last 18 hours. i really do need a break, soon.

depsite everything that made me so unhappy - there is something about him that exudes genuineness.

the genuineness was something i have always noticed from the very beinning. even throughout the difficult times, i never once thought he was hiding anything (and when he did, he specifically told me that he didn’t want to talk about those topics.) in fact, i can’t remember that last time where i felt i could trust someone to this extent, someone i don’t even know that well.

in light of my “recent” revelation of another’s’ uncertain credibility, the genuineness has become even more appealing.

HH and i arrived at the party around the same time - i am glad to see that he made some effort to get into the spirit of halloween, although he had been saying that he had no time to think of a costume. i only lucked out because i have friends like CW.

in any case, the house was decked out in halloween decor and the bar was over flowing with alcohol. people had awesome costumes. and i had much trouble recgonizing friends. i hadn’t see anyone in a long timeso it was great to catch up.

i also hadn’t seen HH in almost two months, though we keep in touch pretty reguarly. he had told me a while back that he had made some plans with his friends so likely would have to leave early, which was perfectly fine and i made that known to him. somehow he still felt bad for having to duck out early. i reiterated that it was ok - i was going to be there regardless of him, and there are other people i could hang out with. but i didn’t feel the need to make that last part explicitly known- i thought it might sound harsh, albeit true. but the fact is, i don’t make people do things that they don’t want to do, especially when it comes to spending time with me. “forcing” things to go my way really isn’t my style, and particularly when it comes to boys, if they don’t want to hang out with me, it’s ususally their loss. and they almost always realize it.

he turned out to be rather great company - can’t say i was surprised, though. at some point he mentioned that he would have to leave soon. i briefly acknowledged it. later on i even asked if he would need to leave, and he said that he didn’t get in touch with his friends. he never ended up going, and we took off when the party was shut down around 2 am. he later tried to claim credit by saying that not leaving was part his decision as he could have been more “resourceful” in trying to get in touch with his friends. .

i am sure a few months ago, i would have read way too much into all that. it’s different now. i simply it take in the events as they happened, instead of drawing conclusions based on them. i am glad he didn’t leave early - we were having fun. but at the same time, if he had to leave, i am pretty sure i wouldn’t have had trouble finding someone to keep me company.

quite a few people asked about him - since i generally show up to events either alone or with a group of friends.
i answered the questions truthfully but didn’t care to elaborate. YKB made a special point to ask me about him and mumbled something before i left about how he “just wants me to be happy.” i am sure that he meant it sincerely and i told him that we would catch up more later.

the best costume of the night goes to JP- who was the “inflatable big man.” he kept in inflating himself and apparently too many people were “molesting” him in that form.

i thought long and hard about showing up to a party with people from the office in my costume. i figured even if i brought the costume to change into when i leave, i couldn’t avoid people seeing me in it. so i was brave and showed up in my shiny outfit (with an extra top) and fuzzy jacket, hat and sunglasses.

the door opened, and a bunch of people were in the living room. before i even stepped it, they bursted into laughters which lasted a good 20 seconds. and soon enough, cameras were whipped out to capture my grand entrance.

i did my best to convince them that i don’t normally look like that outside of work. that might have been totally fruitless.

unfortunately i couldn’t stay too long, as the main event of the night awaited me.

we headed into the game with the utter most optimism. after all, ucla wasn’t even in the top 25 at the beginning of the season, but slowly moved up to no. 6, thanks for some dramatic last minute come backs and a superb offense. to say that we were confident going into the game is an understatement, as evidenced by the myriad of tailgate parties sporting baby blue and gold banners and other paraphernalia. i have rarely seen such a turnout for ucla athletic events in the bay area during the recent years. we were, after all, 7-0, and one of the handful of undefeated teams in the nation. and not to mention our esteemed opponent had lost to a division II school earlier in the year. =)

yet for three and half quarters, the bruin fans were in disbelief- the bruins had been held to a field goal. our group commented that perhaps we were the curse, since none of us had ever witnesses an ucla victory when they play in the bay area. i decided to leave with 8 minutes to go, after stanford led 24-3.

as soon as i walked out of the stadium, i heard cheers and the band playing. TC called to inform me that we had just scored a TD, our first of the day. by the time i got back to my car, UCLA had scored another. when i logged on espn.com back at the office, i noticed that UCLA had managed to tie the game with 15 seconds remaining. by then, UCLA had all the momentum and shortly thereafter, won in overtime.

it is somewhat regrettable that i missed all the excitement - but the key element is that my surrender of an opportunity to witness a great comeback can not change the fact that it did happen, and the bruins did win, and remain undefeated.

maybe i was the curse…

regardless, i think the game was a well demonstrated example of bruins living up to their motto: “ucla, fight fight fight!” (i think that should be carved onto my headstone.)

i missed most of the tail gate party thanks to work duties. i did however, catch up with my group of about 30, and bumped into some classmates that i haven’t seen in a while at a separate tailgate event. it’s cool to be reunited-GM, LT and AC and I all had gone through the hell of chem e classes together and formed a very special bond, thanks to massive problem sets and time consuming lab reports. it always amazes me that all these guys are all so professional at their jobs, yet when we hang out, it feels like we are 20 years-old all over again.

so i waited until the last possible minute to find a costume. i have to wear one because it’s not just a huge costume party tonight, but also YKB’s costume party. when we met a year ago on halloween, he had made me promise that the next year i would dress up. i don’t commit to anything lightly, but my word is always good.

i not only didn’t know where to go a costume, i also didn’t have the time or patience. luckily i have reliable and creative friends. all is took was one email to CW (aka “sweet thang”) and i ended up with 7 or 8 different halloween costumes as well as a few others that are more appropriate for “special” theme parties in vegas. being the demanding friend that i am, i asked her to go through every outfit for me, as my brain last night after work was completely fried. and what brain power i had left, i needed to save it for more work later on.

CW’s attention to detail is amazing - she explained everything to me thoroughly and efficiently. it would have taken me a long time to figure out what to do with each outfit. i ended up taking the entire collection, all neatly packed in a large plastic tub, with me. she said it would be easier that way so i can try things on at my own leisure and mix and match if necessary.

the tub was so large that it didn’t even fit into my trunk.

when i got home, i promptly forgot about work and tried out all the outfits. luckily CW and I are about the same size so many things fit well. it was a tough call to decide.

i can’t wait until the party!

i haven’t been on im at work in a long time. late last night, i was working from home and my ym logged on automatically. i wasn’t expecting to chat with anyone but later on when i looked at my screen, i had gotten an im from MW. i haven’t heard from him since valentine’s day. i did see him at a happy hour recently but promptly turned away to avoid any eye contact.

he asked what i have been up to, and we exchanged some brief pleasantries. quickly it turned into a conversation about his new company, how great it is, etc., etc. actually it was a rather one sided conversation as i was busy working on my motion and he just typed away. in any case, i responded with a “sounds promising” and then told him that i had to log off. of course i didn’t get away fast enough as he still managed to take a few shots at me (”oh i didn’t know you work this late” and “oh you are so business like”).

he said we should do lunch next week to catch up - i don’t know why i agreed to it. i guess i didn’t think he would actually pick a date. urgh! i am sure stuff at work will force me to bail.

i had lunch with AK today before he left for la. sending off one of the last people here for the wedding. it was so fun to catch up with him one-on-one. in many ways, we haven’t changed at all, since we met 11(!) years ago at fresh orientation. i truly feel blessed to have stayed in touch with so many friends from ucla.

i was telling AK about my la costa weekend and jokingly (sort of) asked him to keep an eye out for my “date” around la, especially in k-town, and that he must promptly report any suspicious behaviors back to me.

AK would make a great spy. and he would construct his own spying gadgets. if i were totally crazy, i can probably ask AK to build me some GPS device and permanently fix it to a “target” so i would always know his whereabouts.

hmm…the idea is not sounding so absurd after all…

http://www.frankandcarolshen.com/

especially check out mel’s album as there are some really good group shots of the ucla gang.

i miss everyone already.

after realizing that i would have a long night of work ahead, and that i already missed my gym hours, i decided to go for a run. i first solicited interest from the people in the office (sadly, everyone was still working at 10 pm) and the responses were luke warm, i.e., “i’ll run to happy donuts with you,” and “how about let’s run to the corners of shower and el camino (aka bueno bueno).” they even suggested that i run around on our floor and pretend that it’s a track.

i knew better to take them up on it - ended up running 3 1/2 miles around stanford with PC. it was invigorating.