hear me roar!

http://www.mercurynews.com/mld/mercurynews/sports/special_packages/marchmania/14210710.htm

for the first time in a long time, i sat out in the back yard. it was a little chilly but i had my polar fleece blanket which kept me really warm; the light breezy whistled through the trees; there were a few fluffy white clouds and plenty of stars. one was particularly bright, but the more i stared at it, the more blurry it got. or rather, the more blurry my eyes became, so i decided to leave it alone.

i remembered when i first met HH last year, i sat out in the backyard frequently when i talked to him. it became a regular way for us to wind down a long day. i always told him that nearly every time i am out there, i would see a shooting star. he didn’t quite believe me, and joked that i was probably just seeing things after my glass of red wine. i always said that he needed to come by on a clear night with no moon, and i can prove it to him.

weeks went by - either one of us was busy, or the weather didn’t cooperate, or the moon was too bright so we wouldn’t be able to see the stars, or something. he never did get a chance to come by and star gaze with me. yet when i was out there tonight, i felt his presence, and i heard his voice. it was so random - it was like excerpts of various moments we had all being thrown at me at once.

i went inside after a few minutes and wanted to blog badly. i needed to immediately capture the things i felt, regardless of how stupid or meaningless they may seem. i also badly wanted to get in touch with HH - i think i would have sent him a link to this entry had he been on aim.

it feels like it’s been forever since i have played vball. last season was dismal for me, and i was looking for a fresh start. i forgot that i had hurt my wrist while working out last week, so i had to scrunge up some sports tape and taped up my wrist heavily. i only felt minor pain while playing.

when i got to the gym, i noticed that a friend who used to play a CB had parked next to me. it’s been a while since i had seen him. and it’s always nice to see familiar faces at ivl, since ivl is not known for having friendly teams.

in any case, we had two cool subs and went 4-0, including two wins over our rival, the other altera team.

the only unpleasant part was that i had a minor HH reminder - some guy, who apparently saw us together at CB a while back, asked if i still see him and was telling me that they both went to UT together. i am trying so hard to forget, so every little setback sucks. i did managed to delete HH’s number from my phone. i guess that’s one more small step away from “emotional oppression.”

at lunch, i met up with a friend who was visiting from out of town- it’s been at least a year and half since i had last seen him. from the moment i saw him, i thought he looked different, but couldn’t quite figure out what it was. finally at the end of lunch, i think i had it all figured it out:

his hair was a little bit longer, but styled differently; it was also less blond
his had gained some weight -according to him, he has been trying to put on 30 lbs
he was less clean-shaven

i thought he looked great! not to mention an awesome vball player. he insisted on taking me out to lunch, so i insisted on buying dessert, and he made a cute comment- “that was just my clever way of getting you to spend 20 minutes with me!” i just assumed that he said that half jokingly, but it still made my day.

so i was careless - i didn’t even think twice when i included the names of my current firm and potential future firm in a few entries, and someone ( i don’t know) found it. it’s kinda like the time when i posted the email JT wrote to me with my full name, even though i really didn’t want to be found.

needless to say, i cleaned up those entries immediately.

not necessarily in this order:

1. my first all nighter - i think it was my second quarter, and i was studying for chem 11bh. i also met DC that night.
2. walking around in westwood in my barney pjs and buying ice cream at thrifty’s.
3. meeting a very cute boy at wooden and became determined from that point on that he would be mine, someday. we ended up dating for two years.
4. rosebowl on new years day, 1999, between ucla and wisconsin.
5. doing problem sets with classmates at the bombshelter, under the blossoming trees, on a sunny afternoon.
6. throwing frozen grapes with CT from our window, at the loud frat boys next door.
8. getting really sick the night before my chem e 101b and 109 final, having no hot water in the apartment, and having to go get ready in a bathroom on campus the morning before the exam.
9. attending a big party after finals for the spring quarter in my junior year, watching my drunk classmate trying to eat his own sock, and then staying up all night chatting with a boy. it was really a bad idea because my parents were coming to see me the next day and help me move into my new apartment. not having slept at all made me a super grouch the next day.

i woke up sunday morning at a little past noon - that hasn’t happened in a long time. for a while there, i was barely able to fall asleep and stay asleep at night, so sleeping in was a luxury that i didn’t dare to dream about.

apparently that’s now all behind me. this weekend has been nothing but excitement. as if the ucla game wasn’t enough- i rushed home, got ready and picked up MS, and partied the night away with PC and a cute friend of his. we met up with other people at bambudda lounge, and i then bumped into a vball buddy. i haven’t seen WW since his move to NYC so it was a really pleasant surprise.

after many rounds of drinks, we stopped by my favorite late night eating place for a snack before heading home. i got into bed aroud 5 am, and thought about nothing but how i was really happy with the way my life is.

so the tickets we got for elite 8 was three times the face value. there was never a moment during which either KT or i doubted whether it was worth it. the amount of excitement and pride we felt is not something that can measured in terms of dollars and cents.

KT and i met up early to pick up our tickets saturday afternoon. our entire bruin entourage didn’t arrive early with their supply of alcohol as promised, but we wondered around a bit in the parking lot and bumped into a few other bruins that i know.

half an hour before game time, our crew arrived by bart. and with that, a large amount of alcohol that must be consumed before we get into the arena, face paint, creative ucla paraphernalia, and most important of all, good friends with the kind of school spirit and pride that can’t simply be taught.

we were chugging down alcohol in jugs, water bottles and cups, and frantically decorating our faces with water-soluble paint (or so i had hoped). other bruins were walking by and giving us high fives and exchanging various other pregame encouraging words. we were definitely one of the most rowdy groups.
we were still drinking as we got to the door and had to discard some alcohol -not too much, since we managed to consume most of it. the group had to split up since we had different seats but we vowed to be extra loud and noisy.

that, we were! the cutest part was that shortly after the game began, a woman behind me tapped me lightly on the shoulder, and said “thank you for being you! i totally lost my voice after thursday game.” i looked back, and she looked like she has been a bruin for many years, and still maintained such good pride and spirit. i smiled and nodded, and kicked up my cheers and claps an extra notch.

Towards the final moments, sharing the experience was not even sufficient. I called CT on my cell and just let her listen to what was going on. We didn’t need to talk - what was going on spoke for the moment loudly and clearly.

after the bruins secured a trip to final four, we stuck around and watched the awards ceremony and the players cut down the nets. it was a very special moment, and the sea of baby blue and gold fans chanted “u-c-l-a final four!”

i am so proud to be a bruin.

since i had misread the evite to MT’s bday and assumed it was a late night drinking outing, i had made plans with a friend that i had been meaning to catch up with for over a month. i don’t know if it was a date, but i think the plans were made under the pretenses thereof, at least somewhat.

dinner went extremely well - can’t really go wrong with osteria, or sharing a bottle of pinot noir. then in the typical (korean) guy fashion, he grabbed the check without ever letting me even gesturing to look at it. afterwards we had a few drinks at three seasons and watched a bit of bball.

we got out of there around 11 as he still had to work the next day. i said good bye to “date #1″ and then head to MT’s bday party. by then, pending date #2 had already called and left a message, asking for my whereabouts.

Date #2 was up for checking out the bday party with me, and offered to drive. we met up first but since i was running so late from date #1, we made it to MT’s party near midnight, when everyone was already leaving. but we stayed and checked out the place and then went to another club. he was so much fun - not that i ever doubted that he would be. throughout the entire night, he was the perfect date. at one point, before i got out of the car, and it was raining pretty hard outside. he got out, asked me to stay put, went to his trunck, got the umbrella out and came around to my side, before opening my door for me.

oh yeah, all that hard work he puts into at the gym, really is impressive, especially when i wasn’t just a distant observer.