my alarm went off around 8 and i decided to reset for 9. i thought i deserved the extra sleep given how crazy the last 4 days were. within that hour, i was deeply asleep but my mind was apparently very active. the dream was all too realistic - the images, the sounds, the touch. i felt the pain, i felt the awkwardness, but at the same time, the connection as well as familiarity. i felt that nothing has changed, including all that was unworkable.
i hate get woken up in the middle of a dream. it makes me extra groggy. and when it’s a dream that i didn’t want to end (because i wanted to see how it would play out), it makes me extremely irritable. i had to give myself a few extra minutes before i got on a conference call this morning as i drove to work. it would be unprofessional to let a dream interfere with my work.
but later in the day, when MS caught me on IM, and gave me a few words of wisdom, i couldn’t hold in the tears. i think what she said was exactly what i already knew, but i needed to hear it, again, for the millionth time, for it to sink it. she then proceeded to explain why someone’s nose gets red when that person crieds, which i thought to be a funny digression.