I’ll try again tomorrow…

It happened again today. But the reasonable voices guided me through it.

i remember being scared, and angry and concerned about my family and friends. i somehow found my BB and was trying to send a message, and one of the kidnappers (a women) saw me, and she walked over and demanded my BB. i knew i had to act, so somehow found a bottle opener with a knife, and then i stabbed her multiple times.

then i woke up.

i dont know that i have ever had such an aggressive dream. whatever anger or frustration that has been built up- i hope it’s now been released.

before the clock struck midnight on NYE, i wrote abrief email, partly it was a reply, but mostly, it was a good bye. when i put things in writing, they are more concrete and i am more likely to follow through. so in that sense, it was for my sake more than anything else.

on the long flight home, i thought a lot, and cried a lot. obviously, there are only two ways of how things could go forward: just as they have been, in which i inch forward daily; or there could be some reconciliation, which, in the first time, where i am not sure that i can even accept. the hurt has been too deep and too long for me just to forget and start over, or to start again. so however things are going to turn out, they are going to be done at my pace, and under my conditions.

a new beginning, hopefully one filled with more laughters and happier moments.

the view was well worth it. i ran about half way, to under the famous arch, and turned back. so i didn’t ran across, but for me, that was mission accomplished.

even early in the morning, we saw people lned up with unbrellas and food, waiting for get into various vantage points around the city to watch the fireworks. there were 6 barges around the Habor Bridge for the two fireworks show (one at 9 pm, and the larger one at midnight), as well as a barge in the Darling Habor for two other shows. we stayed at Darling Habor and probably could have watched the fireworks from our room, but we decided to forego that opportunity to be at the opera house. we did spend a lot of money for the tickets for the gala at the opera house, but hey, you gotta live it up sometimes, right?

boy-was that a right move! during intermission of the gala, we were at the norther foyer of the opera house, watched the 9 pm fireworks. after the show, we walked around the property, and stood on the terrace that had the bridge in front, and the highrises to the left. when midnight arrives, fireworks started shooting off the barges, the bridge, and the roof tops of a bunch of high rises. it was hard to decide where to look. but the entire sky was lit up.

i have never been so entraced in and engaged by any fireworks display. part of me was uust grateful to be there. part of me was sad to be so far from home. part of me was relieved that the year is over — as much as starting with a clean slate is a cliche, that is what i will try to do.

After a nice work out, I began walking towards the river front. I had planned to walk to st kilda but got tired. So chilled at a cafe for a while. I had no other plans until I saw a bunch of ferries departing,so I hopped on the one to williamstown.

The stop over was an hour, and that’s really all I needed there. Coming back to the south banks area, I ordered a bottle of shiraz viognier and a dozen oysters at a place called “waterfront” and waited for my friends to come back.

Apparently the Great Ocean rd, while amazing, was bumper to bumper traffic. They only made it to one scenic point before turning back.

So we enjoyed out wine and oysters at sunset (I already had more to drink before then) and headed to the Eureka Skydeck. The unique part about this place is that there is an enclosed, clear cube (the Edge) that sticks out of the skydeck on the 88th floor that offers a 360 degree view of melbourne. Including looking down from the clear floor.

My friends “coerced” me into going and bought more alcohol as we were waiting to enter the Edge.

But for that I was pretty buzzed -i’d have never done it. But it was an amazing experience and surprisingly,I wasn’t that scared.

I am so glad I did it.

The flight from sfo to syndey was long, but I slept through most of it.

Arriving in syndey-the first thing we saw was the opera house, perched over port jackson.

to see the opera house close up was even more impressive. So much so that we decided to shove out some major $$$ to attend the new years eve gala there.

Drive to melbourne was long. Parts were scenic, parts boring, and a good way to see australia’s country side.

Melbourne is beautiful and architecturally very different. Well, the parts I saw from my morning run anyways.

(I must have gotten this bite at a rest stop full of bugs yesterday on our 2-day drive down. It is so swollen that I decided to be cautious and visit the local hospital. The nurse said likely it is a spider bite and I will need to see a dr, who later ordered that I be on antibotics for 5 days.)

But it was amazing that dressing in layers keeps the cold out, more or less. I was never that cold during the day, except for the fingers and toes. I kept on figdeting on the lift so my extremeties don’t fall asleep or get frostbite.

After a late break, frenchie and his bro convinced me to do another run at the top of peruvian express. It was -5 and very windy-the conditions were so bad that we could barely see as we left the top. But in a couple of minutes, we got to a more shieled part of the mountain where I had the most beautiful run of the day on “primrose.”

I am glad I did it. That was a good way to say bye to snowbird. And a great way to retire my board. It has been w me for a long time, and well traveled-must have been to nearly 20 resorts in multiple states and countries.

Now it will be wall-decor .

On top of all the snow utah had gotten already in the previous week, it was a prime time for avanlanche. And even if not an avanlanche, it’d be an awful day to be out on the mountains. The snow isn’t even an issue but the wind is hard to bear, and not to mention it’d affect lift operations.

Some friends decided to go anyways. But DL and I stayed in, made beef stew, worked, ate, watched bad tv shows, and watched the snow fall non-stop from our balcony.

It was a pretty fun day. Of course I’d have preferred to be boarding, but if boarding would be more painful than fun, then I don’t see the point.